"DON'T GET OFF THE BIKE! STAY ON THE BIKE! WHAT ARE REACHING FOR?! I SAID STAY ON THE FUCKING BIKE!"
So apparently crime is at all-time low in Sacramento and the budget can accomodate 3 CHP to write fix-it tickets. The cop actually said "I've never written a ticket for no mirror. I don't even know what the code is for that..." Clearly a top priority.
But here's the real lesson: if you ride jockey, don't downshift while getting pulled over. Apparently, the act of finding neutral looks remarkably similar to brandishing an uzi with murderous intent. It had been a while since I was put in handcuffs and groped by an over-weight man with an inferiority complex and an excess of spare time--thanks for reminding me that I am still on the right path.
Best quote of the day: HH looking a cop in the eye and saying, "I shoulda beat guys like you up even MORE back in Highschool." Sorry your shovel got pulled.
Update: HH will have his disco machine back by nightfall. And it only cost him $1500....fuck this state!