FTP

Jockey Shifting is Not a Crime

But it will get you put in handcuffs.

"DON'T GET OFF THE BIKE! STAY ON THE BIKE! WHAT ARE REACHING FOR?! I SAID STAY ON THE FUCKING BIKE!"

So apparently crime is at all-time low in Sacramento and the budget can accomodate 3 CHP to write fix-it tickets. The cop actually said "I've never written a ticket for no mirror. I don't even know what the code is for that..." Clearly a top priority.

But here's the real lesson: if you ride jockey, don't downshift while getting pulled over. Apparently, the act of finding neutral looks remarkably similar to brandishing an uzi with murderous intent. It had been a while since I was put in handcuffs and groped by an over-weight man with an inferiority complex and an excess of spare time--thanks for reminding me that I am still on the right path.

Best quote of the day: HH looking a cop in the eye and saying, "I shoulda beat guys like you up even MORE back in Highschool." Sorry your shovel got pulled.

FTW

Update: HH will have his disco machine back by nightfall. And it only cost him $1500....fuck this state!

Overcompensation

"Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myslef. I am large, I contain multitudes"

It's Friday, so get your friends together!

This guy is fucking owning it!

So, I'm putting together my own to-do list:
rigid shovel...................................check
way-over springer.......................check
righteous mustache......................check
2 chicks way-out chicks.........................fail

maybe I just need a bigger moustache?

Who's Got the 10 1/2?

Nothing like a good dick measuring contest to solidify the bonds of friendship. Just remember: it's not gay unless you make eye-contact.

Fags.

To all my friends on east of the Rockies

...we feel your pain. Of course it took 2hrs of riding through the most miserable sunshine, but we finally found snow.

period correct chopper shit?

Naw, that's straight-up club style, Bro!

It's Friday; Get Some!

More of this: Less of this:

Though to be honest, they're both pretty awesome! I would totally buy this chick a beer. I mean just look at everything going on here: homegirl/boy is folding up like a fucking picnic table! I don't think I've ever been hit so hard that my hands turned backwards! And it looks like Ms. Tyson is ready to follow up w/ that boney left hook too. And the girl in the background...

Oh yeah, that Pan is kinda nifty too.

Views from the Dungeon

Our blessed Mother of Internal Combustion

Hitler Baby shrunken head

I'm currently accepting applications for this position:

Qualified candidates should also be able to repair motorcycles, drink whiskey, and cook bacon.

It's Friday, so...

'Cause I'm leaving her bitchy ass here and taking these good looks on the road!

A day with Mikey...

So the cop says, "what's your hurry today?"

"Well, I just got a message from your wife, and she said you were at work."

For Darin the Blasphemer

There are simply not enough words...

to explain all that is wrong with this! I saw Seigfried riding his scoot through Santa Cruz this weekend and had to go papazzi on his ass to get this picture! Do you have any idea how hard it is to chase a biker on a lion!? Or is this a tiger--I always forget which one has hands...

Things that HH makes, Part I: