FTP

Jockey Shifting is Not a Crime

But it will get you put in handcuffs.

"DON'T GET OFF THE BIKE! STAY ON THE BIKE! WHAT ARE REACHING FOR?! I SAID STAY ON THE FUCKING BIKE!"

So apparently crime is at all-time low in Sacramento and the budget can accomodate 3 CHP to write fix-it tickets. The cop actually said "I've never written a ticket for no mirror. I don't even know what the code is for that..." Clearly a top priority.

But here's the real lesson: if you ride jockey, don't downshift while getting pulled over. Apparently, the act of finding neutral looks remarkably similar to brandishing an uzi with murderous intent. It had been a while since I was put in handcuffs and groped by an over-weight man with an inferiority complex and an excess of spare time--thanks for reminding me that I am still on the right path.

Best quote of the day: HH looking a cop in the eye and saying, "I shoulda beat guys like you up even MORE back in Highschool." Sorry your shovel got pulled.

FTW

Update: HH will have his disco machine back by nightfall. And it only cost him $1500....fuck this state!

Overcompensation

"Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myslef. I am large, I contain multitudes"

It's Friday, so get your friends together!

This guy is fucking owning it!

So, I'm putting together my own to-do list:
rigid shovel...................................check
way-over springer.......................check
righteous mustache......................check
2 chicks way-out chicks.........................fail

maybe I just need a bigger moustache?

Who's Got the 10 1/2?

Nothing like a good dick measuring contest to solidify the bonds of friendship. Just remember: it's not gay unless you make eye-contact.

Fags.

To all my friends on east of the Rockies

...we feel your pain. Of course it took 2hrs of riding through the most miserable sunshine, but we finally found snow.

period correct chopper shit?

Naw, that's straight-up club style, Bro!